There were other emails of a much more personal nature that I’ve decided to skip but the crux of the situation is that for Sarcoma the clinical results and metrics show your chances of recurrence diminish greatly if you have radiation therapy first before having the surgery to cut out the tumor or suspicious mass.  What was causing my doctors down at the Duke Sarcoma Center concern was the scar tissue from the hernia surgery.  They couldn’t determine without cutting me open whether it was just a hematoma (black and blue mark) scar tissue or a tumor the hernia surgeon left behind.  I assured them the Hernia surgeon wouldn’t leave one tumor behind while taking another.  And in an example of patient advocacy insisted that the specialist at Duke talk to the Hernia surgeon in Florida (they did) because he was boots on the ground.  Once they talked to each other the Duke specialist dialed down their alarm and basically said we don’t know what it is but we are cutting it out of you and I now have the scar to prove it!

Journal Entry Two:
_______________________________

Hello all,
Just a quick email update we are approaching the end of radiation treatment. I am not going to miss getting zapped every day as I am now slightly sun burned in a very sensitive area….yowie zowie! The final treatment is scheduled for Tuesday the 11th. One of the weird peculiar to me side affects is I come out of radiation just ready for chow. I had to have a couple of cops and a homeless guy push me out of a snow bank as I barreled into my local Wawa for a classic turkey hoagie extra provolone oil and mayo and bring on the Fritos and chocolate milk. Think Animal House and Flounders car crashing into the front yard. Actually I could use a hoagie right now and yes its 10:45 am. That’s how a true Philadelphian combats calamity – take two hoagies and call me in the morning.

We are now waiting to hear from Duke about logistics. There is another round of CT Scans and MRI and then surgery. We are looking forward to getting this behind us and having a great summer! Amy thank you for the gifts in the mail we used that money on a night out and of course the scenic calendar is beautiful. Jay it was great talking to you as usual and I’m expecting those old Kingston Road garage photos or at least one of them in the mail – so start digging brother and I hope they are in the original frames as well. That will help keep the home fires burning.

As you all know I’m not the only one dealing with this screwed up industrial assault on our bodies there are others in our own families and extended families so keep everyone in your heart. And just so you know some of us don’t like playing the victim or treated like victims so keep a stiff upper lip and go into the corners hard elbows up.

One final word that cancer ad during the super bowl was targeted at those without cancer because those of us dealing with it don’t want that weak, wimpy victim attitude directed at us. I was horrified at that add. One big middle finger to cancer is the attitude you need to beat it – at least that’s the approach I’m taking. Feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to get it done (with anything). So don’t bother worrying or feeling sorry or milking the drama its counter productive and just flat out annoying to deal with – treat those in your life with cancer the same as before. I’ve heard this from all types of people with disabilities and disease. So when you think of me laugh hard know I’m still enjoying life from dawn to dusk and back again in all its subtle wonder both seen and unseen as I always have and get tough and have a hoagie!

Chow hard and keep the faith!

Paul

Before we get to the journals a little background.  I noticed something in my scrotum last year around this time and went to a urologist.  He determined I had a hernia.  However the urologist did not perform an ultrasound or MRI and sent me on my way to a hernia specialist.  Do not make the same mistake.  Get the MRI and Ultrasound if you notice lumps no matter what they tell you.  Insist on it you have to be your own patient advocate.  And get ready for paper work from the insurance companies and healthcare providers.  Get your bills all on a low monthly payment plan so your household and regular life aren’t up-heaved by $60,000 dollar radiation bills.  If you have good insurance you’ll have a cap on what you pay a year so do not get blown away by the hospital bills.  You are responsible only for your yearly cap in some cases as little as three grand.  And if you don’t have insurance get some today!

The first order of business was to get my imediate family educated I went to Florida to get a no mesh hernia repair.  The doctor down there during the procedure discovered a nasty tumor and excised it out of my scrotum and sent all the tissue off to Miami to a specialist who determined I had a well differentiated lipo sarcoma with DE-differnetiated satellites in the hernia sac.  Scary stuff, scary words until you consult Dr. Google and find out well differentiated is a low grade tumor almost benign and that the DE-differentiated is the maturation into a higher grade tumor.  Its important to know what you are up against.

Here’s  my first email missive off to my immediate family:

___________________________________________________

Brothers and Sister,
There’s a link below with a lot of background information. Keep in mind the tumor is out I just need to get imaged, and clean out any residual disease the hernia specialist may have left behind. I’m confident I’m pretty clean because Dr. Tomas (the hernia surgeon) also works with lumpectomies and other cancer related diseases. So it’s not like he had an untrained eye on me.

I’ve also attached my pathology report if you want to look up terms. Please keep that private and confidential in the vault that’s not for anybody else’s eyes but you three. I’m taking a huge leap of faith here in sending it to you three so please don’t share that path report with any other doctors, friends or god forbid facebook. I’m just trying to get the big three (that’s you guys) up to date. And I don’t think it would be wise to share it with Mimi or Poppie either. All those unfamiliar terms are shocking and grim. For instance the stage number refers to size not the malignancy potential as in other cancers so being unfamiliar with the terms can lead to jumps of conclusions.

Essentially the area of concern is from just below my “deep” ring in the inguinal canal and my right scrotum (link below). It was a low grade tumor not attached to anything but it spun off some nastier nodules in the hernia sac three to be exact but they are out as well. No hemorrhage and necrosis is a good thing if you read the report.

The Mayo clinic link below is also a quick concise primer that you should read (ten minutes). I’m trying to keep mom and dad updated daily, and remember the best way you can help is to just listen. If you want a daily update call them or each other. The phones been ringing off the hook with both families calling and while everyone is well meaning it’s still grim reaperish like the guy in the first poltergeist movie at the screen door (your all gonna die in there). He was awesome wasn’t he?!!?

poltergeist

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t like something I’ve said just let me vent, and don’t conveniently run for the exit like you have been so offended. I mean if you call and get me talking about this shit the least you can do is hear me out and if you don’t like it tough.

Now I’m going to be fine and have a great positive attitude and the power of the mind and the power of words should never be underestimated. So guard your thoughts, and guard your words or you might manifest just exactly what you don’t want to happen not only with me but in your own lives. If you don’t believe that tough shit I do so you need to respect that.

Stop projecting on me like I’m some idiot who doesn’t know the score. Do I call you up and rag on you about what you are supposed to be doing or not doing no I don’t – and we all have areas we can improve in or do better want me to list them…you don’t need me too right because you know yourself and you are adults capable of making your own decisions and well informed (me too).

Anyway that’s a vent respect it and let it go. Okay, so that’s that lets all just act normal and not wig out. I’ll try to send out emails from time to time to keep you posted.

The latest: My chance for re-occurrence is lower if a high volume facility does the work.  I went to a specialist with my hernia and you bet I’m going to see the specialist for the sarcoma. As far as how I got this I may never know but the first thing the doctor asked me is where do you carry your phone. Any possible agent I’m moving including computer towers I have been sitting next to for the past twenty years and herbicides on my lawn the neighbors. All the toxins are out of the house and Kris can handle the chlorides for the pool. That’s it for now.

Alright I’m out – here are the links – get up to speed – if you want to make me happy or fell better read them – they’ll answer a lot of questions for you – knowledge is power.
Paul

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/soft-tissue-sarcoma/DS00601

http://sarcomaalliance.org/sarcoma-centers/

http://www.anatomy.yalemedicine.org/Lab_10/m3.php

Chances are if you are here you have received the news that you have Sarcoma.  Right off the bat you need to know what it is and below are several links that are very informative.  I’m posting them right up front because most people here looking at this post are scared to death and need the info right away.  After you have checked out the links come back because what follows is an open, honest journey of one mans experience with liposarcoma.

Cancer is a scary word but it is just a word.  There are over fifty varieties of sarcoma some are down right nasty others like liposarcoma have a low rate of recurrence if properly removed by a sarcoma specialist.  Your local general surgeon does not have the experience in treating the disease.  Getting to a sarcoma center is imperative in lowering your risk for recurrence.

You should know Sarcoma doesn’t act like a typical carcinoma and if you are looking for a little good news chemotherapy is useless in treating Sarcoma.  Sarcoma is treated with surgery to cut the bad cells out.  Cancer/Sarcoma are just cells that have been infected by viruses or chemical exposure to the point where their basic normal function is damaged and they do not know how to shut themselves off.  We have millions of cells dying off and recreating in our body every day from hair growth to bone regeneration our cells are constantly dying off and regenerating.  When they can’t go through their normal life-cycle and die off its up to modern medicine to intervene and surgically remove them and or kill them off with radiation or dose them with chemotherapy.  These are all harsh treatments but undying cells creating massive tumors interfering with your bodies normal functioning organs by their invasion or malignancy is worse.

That’s is all a tumor is that’s why if you catch the disease early enough you can scoop the offending cells out before they spread and do serious damage to your lungs, liver, pancreas, kidney or brain.

Here are the links – get up to speed – if you want to fell better read them – they’ll answer a lot of questions for you – knowledge is power.  And then come back and read my daily journal it will help in knowing what you or a loved one is about to confront.  The journal will be posted sequentially on the front page and under the heading Sarcoma.  Good luck!  With the proper care cancer is not what it used to be ( a death sentence) most cancers these days are highly curative.  There are a lot of people doing a lot of good work in this field.  There is even a dye in clinical trials that will illuminate the cancerous cells for the doctors to see.  Its only in phase one of it’s clinical trials but it would be a game changer if proven affective.

Paul

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/soft-tissue-sarcoma/DS00601

http://sarcomaalliance.org/sarcoma-centers/

Politicians collecting tax payer funded pay check, tax payer funded life insurance, tax payer funded health care, tax payer funded gym, tax payer funded cafeteria, tax payer funded office, tax payer funded parking and tax payer funded retirement pension plan for life and for their spouses – have been fucking the tax payer by purposefully crippling the economy to discredit the black guy the majority of the tax payers elected to be President. And they wonder why their approval rating is in the tank. Hey idiots pass a jobs bill for our infrastructure, smart grid and clean tech and maybe your approval rating and electability will improve.

In other words they bite the hand that feeds them and wonder why we think they suck.
Government is not “taking over” healthcare its a common misconception based on repetition.  Government makes the laws under which the private healthcare for profit industry operates.  We The People are the government. So We the People are telling corporations through the laws of the Affordable Healthcare Act that you can not drop our healthcare for per-existing conditions. This is a perfect example of why we have laws, rules and regulations to make a more just, safe and smooth operating society.Corporations operate on profit margin. They are doing their job when they are making the most amount of money possible….not by giving it away or helping sick people, but they are more than happy to take money from healthy people.Insurance; health, auto, home is a nice concept but for it to work everyone has to participate. Going to the emergency room without insurance means those who are uninsured pass exorbitant emergency room fees onto society (the tax payers).  We pick up the tab through higher and higher premiums that have been escalating by 15% year over year as insurance companies pass the cost of the uninsured who get gold plated treatment at emergency rooms onto their paying customers.

The emergency room is not the place to go for a common cold but people go there because they get free healthcare that really isn’t free to the rest of us. The bills get generated, the doctors submit them to the insurance company and those of us in the system see our rates go up.

With everybody getting insurance when someone who previously couldn’t afford healthcare gets sick they’ll go to the extremely less expensive primary care physician of their choice. And maybe even go in for regular check ups and take on preventative healthcare measures that also lower healthcare.

Do you wait for your car to break down by the side of the road or if it makes a funny noise to you run it into you local garage of choice or dealership to get it diagnosed and fixed for less money?

Everyone in some sort of private insurance will drive our collective national healthcare costs down which will increase our GDP and productivity because fewer of us are sick and out of the economy and more of us will have dollars to direct elsewhere that demand will equal more jobs, and a better standard of life for many.

If its a “Government Take Over of Healthcare” how come Aetna, BlueCross Blue Shield, Humana, Kaiser, WellPoint, Cigna, WellCare, Healthnet, Coventry, United Health, Highmark and BCBS are all still in business?  The insurance company’s are all still operating and still making money.

Governemnt didn’t take over healthcare they just made better laws for you and I so we don’t get ripped off by the big boys squeezing us for profits.  Some people under the Obamacare Affordable Healthcare Act (the new set of laws) even got refund checks.  Why?  Because of the 85/15 law a part of Obamacare states that insurance companies have to use 85% of their income actually covering people and only 15% of their take can be distributed to CEO salaries and administrative costs.

At the end of every year checks go out to you and I because Insurance companies can’t know exactly how many of their customers will get sick or hurt.  But at the end of the year the books have to be balanced and people have already gotten checks to offset their healthcare premiums if the Insurance companies pay out was less than 85% of what they took in….amazing huh?

Corporations are not any more evil than government.  Its the people in them who can be unscrupulous or driven by the bosses pressure to come up with gimmicks and schemes to ever increase profits. Insurance companies are not in the business to pay out to hospitals and patients and customers but to make money.  That’s why they are more than happy to insure healthy people and kick to the curb the sick….oopps didn’t read the fine print thanks for your premiums.

Government is our tool to keep them honest.  Being dumped from insurance coverage for pre-existing conditions is illegal now and thank god. Being driven into bankruptcy because your provider says read the fine print you have passed our cap and we’re not obligated to give you any more money but thanks for paying for our lousy insurance all those years…..that’s now illegal and sick people will get to keep their homes instead of booted onto the street.

Hello you have cancer sorry your insurance has run out and now your house has been foreclosed on have fun living in your car dying of cancer….and welcome to America.  Pretty grim right, but the Obamacare Affordable Care Act makes that practice and eventual bankruptcy illegal.

The problem is unless you have actually been sick and tried to get reimbursed from an insurance company you have no idea about the tricks, stall tactics and shenanigans they pull. Claim agents are given demerits if they actually pay a claim and bonuses for denying coverage – all true.

Government is not running the healthcare process but they are our tool for opening up the markets so we can review competing plans and making these decade long horrendous practices illegal.

Go to Healthcare.gov in a few weeks and see for yourself you might find cheaper insurance.

And remember Corporations are in the business to make money and there is nothing wrong with that as long as they are accountable for their actions and not too slippery.

Government is our tool to make our country better. Some corporate players do not want Government oversight and they contribute a lot of money and pocket politicians to push their agenda because they can and they are driven to make more and more money regardless of the costs they mitigate to society (like ruining a stream by blowing off a mountain top that fed you clean water but now gives you cancer because of the chemicals they use).

Government is the cop on the beat. If some corporate players can corrupt it, weaken it, or bribe it then it becomes easier for them to cheat, steal, get away with wrong doing and pass the cost of their byproducts and actions onto the public.

You and I can not sue GE for polluting the Hudson River we don’t have the financial muscle.  But the Federal Government can call GE to task and go toe to toe with them in Court for decades if they have to for dumping PCB’s in the Hudson, killing the fish, giving children cancer and ruining property value. Why would GE do that (?) simple they are profit driven and anything they can get away with to cut cost they are going to try.  In some cases its cheaper to litigate for decades than to clean up oil and toxic waste spills, dumps and tanks or to be held accountable for ruining businesses and sickening even killing people.

GE is only focused on their bottom line how can they make more money this year so they look for ways to cut corners dumping toxic waste into the river and not being held accountable for the cost of the clean up of their by product is something they will do if they can get away with it.  Big Government is the only tool we have to make them clean up their mess.

In a Country of 350 million people our government has to be big – you don’t want a pip squeak patrolling the streets….and remember vote in every election.

We are the people, we are the government, we have to direct it to spend our tax dollars wisely and maintain and improve the society that we have built for ourselves. We don’t want it to limit our choices, to tell us what to believe or interfere with our pursuit of happiness but we want it to check the sneaky and the greedy wherever they are who would think of nothing in walking off with our retirement funds.

Its complicated with lots of moving parts – easy sound bites don’t get at the truth.

Comparing government and a single family budget is a false comparison – heck of a sound bite but not really apples to apples – think of the government as a circulation system.  We are the least taxed western society but because we are such a huge country with 350 million people (thereabout) we have an enormous tax flow.  DC is the pump that recycles and directs that tax money to our stated priorities through our alleged representatives. Money is like blood circulating through the market system with every transaction large or small that’s why Wall Street spends so much time worrying over consumer spending (70% of our economy is based on it) and George W. Bush told us to go out and shop after 9/11.

But hide that money off shore out of the markets and you starve the circulation of our market system.  Yes taxes are “redistributed” by consensus to do the things that individuals can’t get done by themselves (interstate highway system, space station, aircraft carriers). Since congress makes the laws and controls the budget it settles on congress to direct the spending.

They could spend less on discretionary spending and plow our tax dollars back into research and development, education or build bridges to nowhere in order to win favor in their districts. In an economy of scale our trillion dollar budget sure sounds big to you and me in the middle class in our homes around our table but the revenue the federal government has to work with based on our lowest in the western world taxes is actually a little short on the revenue side due to the necessities and demands on our country as a whole and as big as it is…..wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes.

One bugaboo always picked on by those that want to privatize and charge fees for what are currently free public services (no overhead, commissions, or profit margins to employees, CEO’s and shareholders) is social security.  If the Congress raised the limit on the amount of income that is subject to the social security contribution (tax) from $100,000.00 to say a million social security would be solvent for multiple generations. Understand that income earned over $100,000.00 isn’t subject to social security tax so as a percentage you and I pay a vastly larger percentage of our income to social security than Bill Gates or the Koch Brothers…..(not fair)

In conclusion big government isn’t “bad” in a big country but rather necessary to coordinate all that goes on in such a large diverse population….also I would point out the government isn’t bad or evil – its just an institution – its the people that potentially populate that institution that are either good or bad.

Having had months to negotiate any kind of budget long before sequestration took place a few in congress are holding up the budget process.  They are causing the economic blood to stop flowing and threatening to kill the economy because their views are in the minority and they were unable to achieve them through the legislative process by having bills go back and forth between the Senate and the House.

You can’t hijack the economy and threaten to stroke it out but you can take your case to the American people and try to win elections.  A certain segment of society hates the president I wasn’t too fond of George Bush but advocating killing the economy to win environmental concessions is literally hostage taking. Or hijacking the economy to get background checks and close the gun show loophole is just as wrong.  The only way to accomplish that is to state your case and run candidates who will then vote for the change that coincides with the will of the people.  We the people that’s how its done.

Congress has taken the economy hostage and is threatening to kill the economy when they had all the time in the world to control their own spending which they are in charge of and campaign to the entire nation on repealing the affordable care act which they did but lost that appeal to the american people. And the american people want our lowest in the western nation taxes to go toward caring for the sick, and curtailing corporate greed.  Perhaps we are a christian nation or at least a caring one?

Our politicians should honor that sentiment and look for other ways to advocate for their pet peeves rather than threatening to sabotage the economy to achieve their minority aims – aims that were not persuasive in the last Presidential election to the majority.

Hey America and the World wake up we still have Steve Forbert.  In Hollywood’s lust for the next big thing as Disney churns out more teen sensations that obliterate themselves once they hit twenty one, with cheap reality shows spitting out across the globe wannabes, and has beens trying for that last little glimmer of fame or first fast food commercial there is integrity, talent, fun and genius going on about its business waiting for nothing but you to notice and if you don’t so what.I’m talking about Steve Forbert of Romeo’s Tune fame which reached No. 11 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 1980.  Your parents heard it on the radio…a lot.  A musician who took on the record companies when they refused to release an album of his and put his career on hold because of the way the contract was written and the fight that ensued.  Its an old story that never sees the light of day and of course the artist isn’t to blame…..just his management and then well growing up takes place, perspectives change and square one is revisited and lo and behold we have Steve Forbert back.

Thank god we have Steve Forbert back.  In this day and age we need all the hope we can wrap our arms around. There’s hope in his personal story let alone his music and talent that spins fresh and turns with so much essence of what is that it will refresh your very own roots of experience and realization with a touch of the sanguine and truth affirmed.

I first saw Steve in 1986 he opened for Arlo Guthrie and while I respected his obvious song writing skill I hadn’t been hooked yet and then I saw his show.  I was hooked.  So I started my Steve Orbit journey that found me revisiting his music and digging and digging.  I knew there was something there if I just kept digging and now my cd collection and speakers are brimming with treasure I over looked, music that I thought would never be again an artist rediscovered who perhaps has rediscovered himself and we all go through this together and its sweet to have those deeper strings plucked.

Here’s what I’ve found out for my self.  I love his American in Me disc its where I would send anyone to start if they did not know Steve’s work….keep listening his voice will grow on you if not instantly.  Then go get his reissues of Jack Rabbit Slim and Little Stevie Orbit.  There is a ton of material on those albums and the songs range all over the musical spectrum but still hang together the bonus material takes up a whole additional disc and is never filler – you get live takes and its all thoughtfully put together.  Familiarize yourself with his music and then go see him live.  Take your girlfriend, boyfriend or go alone you’ll be glad you did.

With all the ridiculous bullshit we fill our lives up with (Kardashians, political stooges, war and putting the down trodden further down) Steve’s music will remind you and reinforce whats good, whats essential and lift you up even after singing about being put down.

Stronger lyric writing you don’t come across often if ever.  A strong sense of melody and what just sounds good with excellent transitions, bridges, hooks, chorus and verse whether singing alone or with backing vocals and a band Steve’s music is the unpretentious real deal and always has been the real deal.

So the question remains are you?

Saw the ABB in V. Beach last night 5th row center – stood for two hours straight – massive air bass playing, head bopping and butane burning- I think I scared Oteil……..the sound down front was beautiful but could have brought Gregg’s key board up a bit more in the mix.  Fun crowd not too drunk lots of hand shaking, smiles and interaction with everyone around us.

They went old school to start the show which is what I was craving – That’s what love will make you do was a surprise  – I thought oh no as it started and then was singing, dancing and sweating before it was over – sounded great.  They were very faithful to the original licks on Blue Sky, Jessica and Southbound but of course blazed their own in the moment imprint when stretching it out.  Lots and lots of energy.  The array of drums practically in our lap was huge and I was way into the drum break which is unusual for me!  Into the Mystic was extremely heartfelt and on point a beautiful rendition that had me mesmerized – Warren brought out a sweet new guitar for that number – the tone was excellent the mood was achieved.  And Grace Potter – well hells bells the chick sounded just like Bonnie Bramblet – I thought – no wonder these guys like her – she shimmied in front of Gregg at one point and well that was the biggest smile I’ve ever seen from him – I was happy to catch that moment.  Great rendition of The Weight reminded me exactly of Duane’s version with Aretha Franklin thanks to Derek and the time signature of the band really special they nailed it.  Grace has some pipes on her.  That was so fun!

Here’s a set list I found looks mostly right to me might be missing a song around Statesboro Blues.  They also teased out a little Mountain Jam during Jessica.  Lots of veterans and service boys in the crowd as well who were pumped to see their Allman Brother Band – a very good show, lots of energy – the sound was excellent did not use ear plugs – no ringing – awesome weather beautiful night surrounded by loved ones – what more could you ask for!

Don’t Want You No More >
It’s Not My Cross to Bear
Statesboro Blues
Don’t Keep Me Wonderin’
That’s What Love Will Make You Do
Midnight Rider >
Les Brers in A Minor
Blue Sky
Who to Believe
The Weight (w/ Grace Potter)
Done Somebody Wrong
One Way Out (w/ drums)
Jessica

Encore:
Into the Mystic*
Southbound

The problem is people think guns are cool.  But guns are decidedly uncool.  They are used in uncool situations (heated) moments – the very definition of what cool and uncool is – they are used to violently resolve disputes which is the historic height of being uncool.  They are props for posers who are ridiculously uncool.  Guns are not cool, killing is not cool, gun manufactures profiting off of death is uncool.  Blocking common sense gun laws is decidedly uncool.  Being drunk in the woods slaughtering animals leaving the dead carcasses behind is pathetically uncool, and a very uncool way to get your rocks off.  Poisoning the eagles with lead poisoning as they come to clean up your left behind carcass is uncool.  Being ignorant is uncool.  Guns are not cool. Falling for the sales pitch that guns are cool is uncool.  There’s nothing cool about it not the violence, not the manufactured fear, not the blood shed, not the faux patriotism of unreasonableness or diverting the conversation to racism to protect profits.

Guns are uncool, hatred is uncool, anger is uncool.

Too bad America is just a lot of angry impotent hot headed squares and not cool, really cool, down with the essentials, righteous, knowing how to act, literate, wise, mature, mellow, peaceful, strong, experienced and smart….cooooollll daddio, cool with soul, cool with enlightenment.

America is the lost hot headed ignorant, impotent, wannabe, child, crying tough, standing on a table screaming look at me, loud, noisy, angry, a clueless control freak piss-ant that nobody wants to hang out with…..totally and completely unaware, spewing hatred, ignorant of the facts, ignorant of truth, a ship of fools, self destructive and toxic, and just plain not cool.

Eternity – The Music Never Stopped. Maybe my CD player is haunted or rather through music consciousness beyond the mundane gets to flourish.

Jerry Week Epilogue: With antennas up and positively being open to it a dusting off of the imagination and a laugh, why not…one step beyond. Can the message be any clearer? Within Eternity the music never stops, the music of life, the music of love, the music of fulfillment, the music of self the song of the same that feeling you have when you are firing on all cylinders. Could it possibly be can I say for sure well for sure to me is a distinct possibility how could it not be?

Eternity…the music never stopped. If you held a séance and you heard a voice would you be so surprised to hear those words, “Eternity…the music never stopped,” with a shrug? Wouldn’t it be all you needed to know? Eternity the music never stopped whether here or there. We know it hasn’t here and the allegedly “random” occurrence or the digital shuffle of divinity or just an old friend exercising his power having a chuckle, making a point and with the same old ease? Synchronicity? Coincidence? Debate it doubt it sneer at it I see beneath your protestations the ramifications on you of possible truth and the life you live on Terra Firma. Did you want a signed letter? An active imagination? You’ve learned the hard way not to ignore it and to nurture strength if you are going to crack the door for a daring peak. We shouldn’t know that’s why we don’t but here it is and there it is as well?

Hey easy rider you’ll get this because you were not looking for it you found it because you were not listening for it you heard it because you are open to it you got it, noticed it later, and then put it together easy rider the not subtle plainly occurring manifestation of truth. Ahhhh but now the doubt the skepticism how could it be but why couldn’t it be who’s to say its not supposed to happen or did happen or could happen or didn’t happen but there it is happening and what to make of it…..nothing if you like but not me.

Put a crooked smile on my face and be reminded the ordinary is extraordinary in the strangest of places on a treadmill, in a room, preoccupied with breathing, surrounded by music and light feeling and listening. Quiet mind, stretching body and so my grateful friends no mystical trappings, no men in robes collecting money a message perhaps maybe yes maybe no but received nonetheless eternity here and now here or there on your way to and fro moving there or moving here the music never stopped. Was he as surprised as I am or just reporting back the now known and I didn’t think anything was going to happen this week ….shucks, crooked smile, amused, brows raised unnecessarily comforted but the honor of awareness just the same (~):D.

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Journey Home Reviews

I can't wait to read your book!!!! -- Sophie
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I am definitely digging it! -- Devin
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I must tell you how truthful and inspiring it was -- Debbie H
Paul Burke is some fantastic, talented writer. Journey Home is an eye-opener. It is down to earth and humanly raw! I highly recommend it as a must read!!" -- Knowledge Tree Bookstore
I randomly stumbled upon this book online and it looked intriguing. Little did I know that it was more than just a curious cover...a wonderful picture of nature and a nice mindset of our place within it. I recommend the hell out of it!" -- Jonny Bear
Paul, I got Journey Home sent to my house and eagerly devoured it on a trip to New York and back via a long delay courtesy Delta Airlines. You proved to be a great companion... YOU ROCK -- Ken
I just finished reading Journey Home and I can't tell you how bowled over I am. It is so insightful and powerful and it emanates such wonderment of reality. It is Phenomenal on so many levels...tremendous! -- Aimee'
When I first started reading Journey Home I couldn’t put it down! Each person and situation became vivid in my mind. I could feel the book. It became one with me and the sounds ... here on Big River. The unexpected twists and turns, continued to peak my interest, and the first night I read till I could see no more. Then, as I awoke I read till I was done. A book of this quality is an Amazing Gift for all to read and Understand!!!! -- Dusty

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